Wait! What?!?

I know what you are thinking right now…

“This must be a joke right???”

“Did he eat your last donut??? You’re Hangry!”

No it’s true. I remember the days before having a kid. My facebook feed would be scattered with pictures of friends who just had a baby or out doing family “things” and everything looked perfect. I thought I can’t wait for that to be me. My beautiful wife and I actually planned to have a baby…

Let me be the first to tell you half those pictures are staged or caught in between a level 7 tantrum meltdown… Rapid Shot and Photoshop becomes your friend.

Having a boy, is not all it’s cracked up to be.

Lets not belabor the point any more.

Here are the Top Five Reasons Why I Dislike My Son

1 He’s funnier than me

Sawyer is legitimately hilarious! Not like, ohhhh that was cute, Ha Ha. No, the kid is a straight up comedian cry laughing type. His delivery, timing, everything. While I attempt to be funny, he is just naturally gifted. I want to apologize to all future teachers… I blame his mother.

2 He’s better looking than me

Ok, so I am not the vain type. Actually not in any sense of the word, but….. the kid is chick magnet! It does not matter if I share a picture or he is standing right next to me, he gets ALL the compliments. “He’s adorable!” “He’s sooooo cute” ugh! In his short time on this planet, that I helped bring him into by the way, he has received more compliments than I have ever.

3 His taste in shows

I do not know what adult created Tayo the Little Bus but you are an evil, evil man… This show is down right terrible. The tagline of the show is a little bus in the big city. I am not quite sure what it worse the show or its theme music… Here take a listen:

Tayo, Tayo, Tayo, Tayo, he’s a friendly little bus… Son if I have to hear that one more time….Ahhhhhh!!!

4 He makes me want to be a better husband

I am this little guys role model. He is going to grow up watching me love Michelle. This is an undue amount of pressure if I do say! I have two eyes watching how I treat her, how I speak to her, and how I respect her. I want him to grow up to be a man that respects and loves his wife as much as I love mine.

5 He makes me want to be a better dad

This may sound cliche, which means it is… Moms often talk about a “Mother’s Love”, this indescribable love that you have when you first hold your child. A love so pure and instant that it is hard to put into words. I am going to tell you that this love is not exclusive to mothers.  I never knew how much love I would instantly have for my son. The moment I saw him, this little man had my heart. I loved him not because of how adorable he was or his sense of humor, but just for who he was at that very moment. Instantly I began dreaming about how this tiny little man, full of potential, was going to leave a mark on this world. Was he going to be the next Babe Ruth or become an architect? His potential is limitless.

It is because of this limitless potential that I strive to be a better dad. Each and every day, I know I must be better because he deserves to have the father I know I can be. Within 3 short years, he has forced me to be a better father, husband, and man which is a major PAIN… but worth it.

So there you have it….

5 reasons why I dislike my son.